Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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