I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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