After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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