I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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