sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
