so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize