She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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