i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
