Having a random hookup so left but love u
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
