she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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