you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
