yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
