I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
it hurts more in the daytime
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
