Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
