But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
