I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize