it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
