I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It was a blind-side dick pic.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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