Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
