Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(618): View more from Illinois

he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.

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(301): View more from Maryland

All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.

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(845): View more from New York

felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter

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(607): View more from New York

she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well

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(571): View more from Virginia

you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again

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(304): View more from West Virginia

The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower

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(226): View more from Ontario

The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle

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(317): View more from Indiana

Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.

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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

Dude my roommate just peed out the window

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