I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
