I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
