Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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