I want to walk on stilts...naked
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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