Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
A bitchslap is in order.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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