Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
