We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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