no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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