moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
