I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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