he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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