i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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