Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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