Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
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The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
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Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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