Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
