Acid is not a monday night drug
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
