Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
