I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
