I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
