I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
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I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
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We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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