Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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