first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
