I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
