STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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