I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this must be what syphilis tastes like
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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