just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
