i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
