Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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