If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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