see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I think I just sharted jello shots
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
