Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
