FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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