Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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