She said her name was "party"
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
He kissed a someone with a penis
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
