He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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