if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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