Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
