so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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