Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Blood and glitter go together right?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
