god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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