About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
