I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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