I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
