Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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