A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
