She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
