oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
