she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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