Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize